Made for each other?
by Janet McNish
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mis-mated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:1“You’re both Christian believers; that’s all you need!” Simple, right? Or is it? What does the Bible say and what does it actually mean?
This verse is often applied to marriage between Christian believers and unbelievers. But you can actually both be Christian – even baptized – and yet be unequally yoked. The results in such a relationship can be devastating.
The image is of two incompatible oxen sharing the same yoke. Instead of working together to pull the load, they work against each other. While this passage doesn’t specifically mention marriage, it definitely has implications for marriage.
When someone says, ‘I believe in Jesus’, what do they really mean? Do they believe in, trust in, cling to, rely on Him (John 3:16 AMP)? What is their motivation for going to church? How does this influence their life – or not? What’s important to you? How would marrying this person influence your approach to problem solving and conflict, relationships with friends and families, raising your children, managing money, spiritual growth and views on physical intimacy, for starters!
Genuine love for Jesus is the best motivation for obeying His commandments. If your ‘beloved’ is motivated purely by a desire for you, or to win your approval, it can be very flattering. It is also idolatry, as they’re seeking to please you first~rather than pleasing the Lord Jesus first!
Please investigate what they truly believe about relationship with God and the LORDSHIP of Jesus before you invest too much into the relationship.
How do you test this? By spending quality time with them and listening well. Ask a friend of their same gender to “check them out” for you. Remain accountable and guard your heart. Set your boundaries~and maintain them. A person who doesn’t genuinely respect your boundaries and standards doesn’t respect you. They are not compatible with you and are not able to have a healthy relationship with you – even if they’ve been a Christian as long as you have. By their fruits you will know them.
Janet McNish PGDip (MBACP) is a qualified counsellor and supervisor, and is the London Area Co-ordinator for the Association of Christian Counsellors.
Published by Micah Christian Ministries