Peaches & Dreams
By Janet McNish
On Ask Patricia Radio Show last Monday we talked about how the loss of a parent might cause psychological disturbance in childhood, which could impact their adulthood in the form of chaotic lifestyle and unhealthy relationships. Peaches Gelfof’s mother died of an accidental heroin overdose when Peaches was 11 years old. Her father Sir Bob Geldof travelled the world in his career as rock star and human rights campaigner. In an interview by Aga Magazine (published in The Sunday Times) Peaches said regarding her dreams for her 2 toddler sons; I hope when they’re older they get to have a bit of the youth that I lost out on when I had them. Now I am a mum, I can correct those awful parts of my childhood and it’s a really healing process. ‘Before, I was not at peace with myself about it because I was just traumatised. That’s why I was living a chaotic lifestyle. Peaches tragically died on 7th April at age 25. Her funeral is today, Easter Monday.
We highlighted the plight of some children left back home to be cared for by family. Their parents, (usually mothers) migrated to another town or country. They had dreams of working to build a better future for their children. But, they were not always cared for. In fact, the opposite happened which compounded the initial trauma of being separated from their mother. Many suffered abuse of various types, physical, verbal, sexual, bullying, neglect or other maltreatment. All this was unbeknown to the parent overseas.
How can a person recover? Significant recovery is possible. It is a process that includes the following:
1. Talk about some of your experience with someone who is respectful and trustworthy, such as a friend or therapist.
2. Acknowledge the damage and extent of the loss you’ve experienced. This is part of the grieving process.
3. Acknowledge the strengths and life lessons you’ve developed. Such as compassion, resourcefulness, courage.
4. Forgiveness clears the path to achieving your dreams.
WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT
- Approving or diminishing
- Denying a wrongdoing
- Waiting for an apology
- Forgetting the wrong
- Ceasing to feel the pain.
- Trusting the person
Mark 11:25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. English Standard Version (ESV)
There are literally dozens of scriptures about forgiveness. Lord Jesus commands us to forgive because he wants us to be free.
Max Lucado said Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realising you were the prisoner!
We’ve touched on several deep and controversial subjects that cannot be unpacked here. I will cover some of these matters in future blogs.
I look forward to your comments.
Mondays 4.00-5.00pm GMT