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Singleness & Dating Dilemmas! 28 October 2018~10pm-Midnight (LIVE RADIO)

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click to listen at 10pm GMT

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Premier Broadcasts

Nationally: Freeview Channel 725 and DAB

Online: www.premierchristianradio.com

http://www.premierchristianradio.com/radioplayer

PREMIER TONIGHT: Host Michael Fanstone & Studio Counsellor Janet McNish. For 22 years, Janet has been equipping men and women with tools to develop healthy relationships with themselves and others. She has worked effectively with individuals, couples and groups. Radio Broadcasting for 11 years. Janet will respond to your calls & messages LIVE ON AIR. To take part call 0845 021 2121. Calls charged at the local rate. 10.00 pm – Midnight. LIVE Phone-in. SINGLENESS & DATING DILEMMAS ~ A grown-up conversation. Discussing issues such as:

  • Myths about love
  • Where and how can I meet a partner?
  • Online Dating
  • Offline Dating
  • Is he/she really ready for a relationship?
  • Dating later in life
  • Loneliness
  • Resources to help you on your journey

What would YOU like us to discuss? Please contact the Premier Studio with your questions during the show.

click to listen 10pm GMT

 

PODCAST-Recovering From a Fractious Childhood (ACEs)

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Recorded live on Sunday 13/05/2018 at 10.00 pm GMT

Michael Fanstone and Studio Counsellor Janet McNish discussed how the devastation of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) follows a person in adulthood. We unpacked the impact on relationships, physical and mental health. Also responded to listeners calls and messages LIVE on air with some practical resources for people’s specific situations.

Janet McNish PGDip (MBACP) is a Registered Counsellor with over 21 years of experience specializing in trauma and relationships matters. She has also served in pastoral care leadership for over 25 years in inner-city churches. Janet is an international trainer has taught diverse audiences in USA, South Africa, Spain and throughout UK. Janet may be available to speak at your conferences and to train your community leaders in sexual trauma and relationships matters.

 

 

Strategies for Effective Dating & Relationships~17 February 2018 10.00-16.00 (Workshop)

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Have you not had a decent date in ages? Tired of dating different men with the same poor results? Feeling frightened of entering the dating minefield? Unsure if you want a relationship with a man, let alone get married? Would you like to increase your confidence in your interactions with men?

Come to this practical one-day workshop to improve your confidence in dating and relationships with men. Here you will learn how to:

  • apply respect and values in your dating relationships
  • trust and set healthy boundaries
  • identify 10 Relationship Red Flags-how to deal with them
  • maintain your dignity in relationships
  • understand men better
  • meet quality men offline – 7 ways
  • assess his / your relationship readiness – specific steps
  • enjoy the process – YES it’s possible!

Register Now http://bit.ly/2BdIF0P-dating

This interactive workshop designed for a small group (20 max) will allow plenty of time for discussion, practical exercises and a valuable takeaway toolkit. This event is for Women only which allows some in-depth frank conversations without distractions. All attendees will be asked to sign a Confidentiality Agreement and disclaimer which contributes to the safety of everyone present. A hot lunch buffet and refreshments will be provided.

Register Now http://bit.ly/2BdIF0P-dating

TESTIMONIALS
  • The workshop teaching was very good, so were the structure of session, materials, venue, and refreshments. (Stylist)
  • I loved that we are able to relate to our life experiences and reflect upon where we met our past partners and how we were treated. Not to ignore the red flags, which I did feel and hear but didn’t do anything to address them back then, but now with this knowledge am about to assert myself. (Administrator)
  • I decided to get some counseling after yet another rejection from a Christian guy propelled me into the arms of someone I knew wasn’t good for me; I was sick of being single! Janet helped me by challenging my thinking and attitude towards dating, helping to restore my self-worth, validating my feelings and giving me the tools I needed to date men and have a successful relationship. Soon after I finished my counseling sessions I made the decision to go on dates. The first person I met turned out to be my husband-to-be. It was a God thing, a divine appointment if you like, but only because I was ready to pursue it. If I hadn’t have done the counseling beforehand and learned from Janet and the authors she introduced me to, we probably wouldn’t be together  I would have missed my opportunity. I encourage any single girl who wants to be married to explore Janet’s Effective Dating Strategies it worked for me! (Professional Musician)

 

 

Singles Workshop – Saturday 17 June 2017

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Have you not had a date in years? Or are you tired of dating different men with the same poor results? Are you frightened of entering the dating minefield? Feeling frustrated by “waiting to be found”? Dreading attending another family event alone? Are you confused by men – yet want to marry one? Not sure if you even want to get married? Oh…that question…”WHY are you still single?” This workshop is for YOU!

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/strategies-for-effective-dating-relationships-tickets-34409545878

Come to this practical three-hour workshop to improve your confidence in dating relationships.Where you will learn solutions to the following and more:

~How to apply the Bible to dating relationships
~Trust – boundaries – safety tips
~10 Red Flags in Relationships
~Ways to meet eligible men offline
~How to enjoy the process – yes, it’s possible!

This workshop will be delivered in an engaging, participative style with plenty of time for discussion and a handy takeaway toolkit. There will be a confidentiality agreement for attendees. Refreshments, handouts and a gift bag will be also be provided. 

 Special Springtime offer: Tickets £25 each Spaces are limited for this event.

Register now!

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/strategies-for-effective-dating-relationships-tickets-34409545878

 

Recovering From a Fractious Childhood

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Fractious –Easily upset or annoyed or difficult to please, bad-tempered, irritable, moody, unpredictable. Causing problems and disagreement eg: A fractious mother causes a child to walk on eggshells. Never knowing where they stand creating anxiety and distress in a child… in some cases trauma.

A fractious childhood relates to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). On 5th March 2017, I returned as Studio Counsellor to the “Premier Tonight” Show with Presenter Michael Fanstone, to discuss this heartbreaking topic, and to provide advice for the listeners. There were so many calls, emails, and text messages, that we could only respond to about half of them by the end of the two-hour live show. I felt so sad that there wasn’t enough time, yet so much pain unaddressed in the church community. I couldn’t just leave it there! So, I decided to create a series to unpack this subject in order to share more understanding of ACEs. I will also provide some practical resources and encouragement to empower people to move towards a more fulfilling life.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) tend to impact people during their childhood and into adulthood. The more of these ACEs a child experiences, the greater risk for health problems in childhood – and into adulthood. Interpersonal relationships are can also be negatively impacted as the ability to trust appropriately is impaired due to the trauma. This can leave someone feeling misunderstood, lonely and isolated. In extreme cases feeling suicidal in the hope the pain will end. However, significant recovery is possible, through effective talking treatments such as counselling or group therapy, psychoeducation, prayer support and gradually participating in a healthy loving community.

As the radio show was on a Christian Radio Station, these blogs will include some biblical examples and case studies, although the principles are relevant for people of any or non-faith backgrounds – because we are all humans who started off as children.

The Bible has much to say about how children should be cared for, it also provides hope for those who have suffered.

  • Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favouritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with loving kindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken]. Colossians 3:21
  • The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
  • He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
PODCAST: PREMIER TONIGHT 5th March 2017: Recovering From A Fractious Childhood follows this post

 

 

 

 

 

How Can I Embrace Valentine’s Day As a Single Person?

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This blog was previously published by Christian Connection.

http://blog.christianconnection.com/embrace-valentines-day/

Yes, you can! Now you might be thinking, What are you, crazy? I dread Valentine’s Day. Such pressure, the spotlight on me as a single, the pity of relatives, the platitudes from married church folk, the disregard from certain greeting card firms, the smugness of the happy loved up couples. Not to mention the accusations of being too picky, too selfish, too old, too independent, too needy etc. Embrace Valentine’s Day.

I had survived my first Christmas after the break-up of a significant relationship. It was a new year and I decided to plan for a positive Valentine’s Day and other forthcoming significant events in order to circumvent potential loneliness and self-pity.

Sensing the impending doom of V-Day, I asked myself; How would I help a client in a similar position? What’s proven helpful in the past? Here are some ideas including what helped me to have a great Valentine’s Day.

1. Plan your Valentine’s day and evening well in advance

Arrange to spend time with kind friends and family, other positive single people, perhaps a mixed-gender group.

2. Organise a dinner or party with fun activities

Preferably at someone’s home where everyone brings something. Co-ordinate a good quality menu with a friend so you don’t end up with 6 chocolate fudge cakes and 1 quiche. Alternatively, guests could donate a certain amount, and host buys the ingredients, and gifts etc. You could have a theme for the gathering. Invite at least 4 people so it’s not too intense. Guests can help to clear up at the end 🙂

3. Don’t go shopping!

Avoid shopping centres. Shop online so you’re not assaulted by presumptuous and pushy salespeople caught in the whirlwind of V-Day frenzy.

4. Go shopping!

Before V-Day luxury goods and services have the best deals. Treat yourself to that luxury perfume or aftershave you’ve had your eye on for ages that you wish that special someone would buy for you.
Alternative wait until after V-Day, when sales drop by 60% on luxury chocolates and other Valentine’s paraphernalia.

5. Don’t send Valentine’s cards

Unless you really mean it buying and receiving a card can mean a lot to a single person and trigger all kinds of emotions. If you do send it, please be responsible and sign it, rather than keep it a secret. If you are newly developing a relationship with someone, consider giving a friendship card instead.

6. Avoid contacting ex-partners during Valentine’s weekend

No text messages, gifts or cards. That person could have moved on and it comes over as a little sad if it’s not reciprocated. Avoid dwelling on if only. The bible only allowed 4 weeks to grieve the loss of a spouse. Ouch!!! If you do have more grieving to do, postpone it! Meanwhile, implement some of these ideas.

7. Get some perspective

V-Day is just ONE day. There are more important issues in life than boosting corporate profits. Focus on how, as singles, we can demonstrate God’s love in this world. Perhaps by volunteering for a charity that’s close to our heart. They might need help on Valentine’s weekend due to absence of their coupled staff.

8. Take care of you

Maintain good habits and routines. Exercise, eat well, pamper yourself, spend time with trustworthy and positive people. Be careful of your focus. Our thoughts impact our emotions, which lead to actions with consequences. Negative thoughts can lead to negative actions. Positive thoughts, positive actions.

Remember Valentine’s Day is about love. Let’s receive even more of the greatest love of all. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John4:14)

So, how will YOU embrace Valentine’s Day? What ideas do you have to share to help others to do the same?

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About Janet McNish PGDip (MBACP) Registered

Janet McNish has been a counsellor and trainer for over 19 years. She is a regular Studio Counsellor at Premier Christian Radio. She provides support and training around relationships for individuals, groups and organisations. Visit www.janetmcnish.com.

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Abusive Relationships -Live on Premier Radio 2nd August 2015. 10.00pm

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Sunday 2nd August 2015 at 10.00 pm ~ Midnight

Studio Counsellor ~Janet McNish ~ LIVE ON AIR

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MW 1305, 1332, 1413 in London

Nationally on Freeview Channel 725 and D.A.B.

Online: www.premierchristianradio.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PREMIER TONIGHT with Michael Fanstone & Janet McNish. Please join the discussion on Abusive Relationships. We will respond to your calls & messages LIVE ON AIR. We aim to help and find practical solutions. To take part in this LIVE Phone-in. Call 0845 021 2121. Calls charged at the local rate.

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

  • What is an abusive relationship?
  • 6 types of abuse
  • Men are victims too!
  • Why doesn’t she / he leave?
  • Abuse in the church!!!
  • Safety Tips
  • Insights for recovery and healing
  • Helpful resources and contacts

What would YOU like us to discuss?

What questions do you have about this topic? Why not participate in the show? We look forward to hearing from you by phone, email or text. Your confidentiality will be respected.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you join my mailing list, I will keep you informed of future events and regular uplifting and blogs, counsellor’s perspective on some hot topics and strategies for your well-being.

Alternatively, you might prefer to send me a message. Your confidentiality will always be respected and maintained. I will never share, give or sell your contact details to anyone. Thank you

Janet

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How can I embrace Valentine’s Day as a single person?

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How can I embrace Valentine’s Day as a single person?

 

Written for www.christianconnection.com

By Janet McNish

Yes, you can! Now you might be thinking, What are you, crazy? I dread Valentine’s Day. Such pressure, the spotlight on me as a single, the pity of relatives, the platitudes from married church folk, the disregard from certain greeting card firms, the smugness of the happy loved up couples. Not to mention the accusations of being too picky, too selfish, too old, too independent, too needy etc. Embrace Valentine’s Day

 

I had survived my first Christmas after the break-up of a significant relationship. It was a new year and I decided to plan for a positive Valentine’s Day and other forthcoming significant events in order to circumvent potential loneliness and self-pity. Sensing the impending gloom of V-Day, I asked myself; How would I help a client in a similar position? What’s proven helpful in the past? Here are some ideas including what helped me to have a great Valentine’s Day.

1. Plan your Valentine’s day and evening well in advance
Arrange to spend time with kind friends and family, other positive single people, perhaps a mixed-gender group.

2. Organise a dinner or party with fun activities
Preferably at someone’s home where everyone brings something. Co-ordinate a good quality menu with a friend so you don’t end up with 6 chocolate fudge cakes and 1 quiche. Alternatively, guests could donate a certain amount, and host buys the ingredients, and gifts etc. You could have a theme for the gathering. Invite at least 4 people so it’s not too intense. Guests can help to clear up at the end 🙂

3. Don’t go shopping!
Avoid shopping centres. Shop online so you’re not assaulted by presumptuous and pushy salespeople caught in the whirlwind of V-Day frenzy.

4. Go shopping!
Before V-Day luxury goods and services have the best deals. Treat yourself to that luxury perfume or aftershave you’ve had your eye on for ages that you wish that special someone would buy for you.
Alternative wait until after V-Day, when sales drop by 60% on luxury chocolates and other Valentine’s paraphernalia.

5. Don’t send Valentine’s cards
Unless you really mean it? buying and receiving a card can mean a lot to a single person and trigger all kinds of emotions. If you do send it, please be responsible and sign it, rather than keep it a secret. If you are newly developing a relationship with someone, consider giving a friendship card instead.

6. Avoid contacting ex-partners during Valentine’s weekend
No text messages, gifts or cards. That person could have moved on and it comes over as a little sad if it’s not reciprocated. Avoid dwelling on if only. The bible only allowed 4 weeks to grieve the loss of a spouse. Ouch!!! If you do have more grieving to do, postpone it! Meanwhile, implement some of these ideas.

7. Get some perspective
V-Day is just ONE day. There are more important issues in life than boosting corporate profits. Focus on how, as singles, we can demonstrate God’s love in this world. Perhaps by volunteering for a charity that’s close to our heart. They might need help on Valentine’s weekend due to absence of their coupled staff.

8. Take care of you
Maintain good habits and routines. Exercise, eat well, pamper yourself, spend time with trustworthy and positive people. Be careful of your focus. Our thoughts impact our emotions, which lead to actions with consequences. Negative thoughts can lead to negative actions. Positive thoughts, positive actions.

Remember Valentine’s Day is about love. Let’s receive even more of the greatest love of all. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John4:14)

So, how will YOU embrace Valentine’s Day? What ideas do you have to share to help others to do the same?

Even though Valentines’s Day is over, some of these tips have value on occasions traditionally shared by couples, Easter, Bank Holidays, birthdays, other significant dates. How soon could you try some?