Fractious –Easily upset or annoyed or difficult to please, bad-tempered, irritable, moody, unpredictable. Causing problems and disagreement eg: A fractious mother causes a child to walk on eggshells. Never knowing where they stand creating anxiety and distress in a child… in some cases trauma.

A fractious childhood relates to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). On 5th March 2017, I returned as Studio Counsellor to the “Premier Tonight” Show with Presenter Michael Fanstone, to discuss this heartbreaking topic, and to provide advice for the listeners. There were so many calls, emails, and text messages, that we could only respond to about half of them by the end of the two-hour live show. I felt so sad that there wasn’t enough time, yet so much pain unaddressed in the church community. I couldn’t just leave it there! So, I decided to create a series to unpack this subject in order to share more understanding of ACEs. I will also provide some practical resources and encouragement to empower people to move towards a more fulfilling life.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) tend to impact people during their childhood and into adulthood. The more of these ACEs a child experiences, the greater risk for health problems in childhood – and into adulthood. Interpersonal relationships are can also be negatively impacted as the ability to trust appropriately is impaired due to the trauma. This can leave someone feeling misunderstood, lonely and isolated. In extreme cases feeling suicidal in the hope the pain will end. However, significant recovery is possible, through effective talking treatments such as counselling or group therapy, psychoeducation, prayer support and gradually participating in a healthy loving community.

As the radio show was on a Christian Radio Station, these blogs will include some biblical examples and case studies, although the principles are relevant for people of any or non-faith backgrounds – because we are all humans who started off as children.

The Bible has much to say about how children should be cared for, it also provides hope for those who have suffered.

• Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favouritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with loving kindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken]. Colossians 3:21
• The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
• He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3