Does the rest of your life suffer when you fall in love? If so, you may have a tendency to lose yourself in a relationship.

It’s natural to be swept away when you first start dating someone new. The trouble starts when time goes by and you fail to regain your sense of balance.

It can happen in healthy relationships, especially if you have unrealistic expectations about romance. It can also happen in less healthy relationships if your partner tries to pressure or manipulate you into becoming dependent on them.

Learn how to balance love with the rest of your life. Try these tips for having a more fulfilling relationship with yourself and your partner.

Spotting the warning signs, you can tell that you’re sacrificing too much if you know where to look.
Stay on the alert for these common symptoms:

1. Maintain other connections.

Neglecting your family and friends is one of the most common and obvious signs. Make time for them in your schedule. When you’re with them, make sure you’re fully present and show you’re interested in their lives, try not to only talk about your new partner.

2. Do your job.

Are you too distracted to meet deadlines and participate in meetings? Keep your mind on work when you’re at the office. Save personal calls and texts for lunchtime if necessary.

3. Watch your spending.

Maybe you’re celebrating a little too much with shopping sprees, hairdressing, beauty treatments, overeating, or other indulgences. The sooner you slow down, the easier it will be to fix the damage.

4. Maintain your hobbies.

It’s great if your partner introduces you to new interests but beware of giving up the things you love just to please them. For example, you can take a class while they go to a football match.

5. Voice your opinions.

Speak up for yourself. Let your partner know you like jazz more than hip hop. It’s natural to disagree sometimes, you may even learn from each other’s preferences.

6. Being Proactive.

You may have noticed that even when you start a new relationship, you soon fall into the same patterns you established with your last partner. If you want things to turn out differently, you’ll need to address your personal issues.

Keep these tips in mind:

1. Boost your self-esteem.

Make yourself a priority. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect just as you are. Treat yourself with compassion and repeat positive affirmations.

2. Create healthy boundaries.

In a healthy relationship, partners encourage each other to set their own ground rules. Explain what you need and what you find unacceptable.

3. Set goals.

You’re less likely to lose yourself if you’re excited about other aspects of your life. Develop passion projects that motivate you to learn and grow. As a bonus, you’ll probably make yourself more interesting. Create a life that others want to be part of, not a life you want someone to rescue you from.

4. Practice self-care.

Treating yourself well makes you stronger and more resilient. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. This also reminds you of your worth. Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly, sleep well and deal with stress constructively.

5. Spend time alone.

Do you enjoy your own company? It’s important to have a healthy relationship with yourself in order to bond with others. Solitude gives you an opportunity to increase your self-awareness and centre yourself.

6. Take a break.

If you’re dissatisfied with your love life, you might benefit from giving up dating for a while. Use the time to work on your purpose, your brand, your body and your brain and set goals that reflect your vision for your life.

7. Consider counselling.

Working with a therapist might help too. That’s especially true if you’re trying to recover from an abusive relationship or think that childhood issues are affecting your adult behaviour.

Hold onto your identity when you’re in a relationship. Losing yourself is too high a price to pay for wanting to be a couple. You and your partner both deserve to feel secure and loved for who you are as individuals.

For more information about boundaries within romantic relationships check out my upcoming online course ‘How to set healthy boundaries’.